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Talk:Epic Rap Battles of History 57/@comment-184.14.99.78-20150803190222
I made Homer VS Tolkien while I was waiting for this battle, made it in a few hours so it's not very good ik but w/e. Tolkien: Take maybe two words from your books, trash the rest of it. You're too archaic, let's take it to the precipice. My rhymes and lines shine like a glass prism. You're on the pinnacle of Tolkien, best get some pessimism! I'm the one rapper to rule them all, you're Homer Simpson the Poet. And your stories make me cringe, call me a Homer-phobic! I bring weary tears from Minis Tir and end you like Boramir. Put you in a horde of orcs, then tell me you know fear. Homer: If I knew no better, I'd say you were from the triassic. Check out my biographies, I put the definition in classic. Meet me at The Prancing Pony, to give a little slam. Oh wait, I wouldn't want to ruin your 50 Shades of Frodo and Sam! This ain't no Dungeons and Dragons, I can create a masterpiece! I'm the Greek giving cheap tricks on how to write good fantasy! Your procalamations are bull, your failing, your end is near! Put on the one ring, so you can just disappear! Tolkien: You need a tip in a bit of word grammar and placement. Let's see how you do against my creations! Frodo: Against Frodo, it's a must to have a truly bad end. And challenging me to rhymes, you'll get a T-Bag-End! You're walking into your Mount Doom, was the memo late? Got my rhymes and weapons more locked up than the black gate. Winning this is as impossible as Sarumon VS Gandalf. My Helm's deep, to Helm's Deep! I stab deep, aint my fault. Homer: Oh please you hairy toed mongruel, you 2 on 1 this? Well the tides has shifted, meet my friend Odysseus! Odysseus: With the power of Poseidon and King Neptune in hand. I'll wreck ya, someone gave you the ring? they should've all went to men! Tell Sam's Mom I liked her on Matchgame, you fool. And remind her that some tool made her son a pack mule! You're trecking up a path and you'll be seeing red. I ain't talking about She'lobb, you stink more than Lamus Bread! Tolkien: Is that the best you can jot? I ain't a critic, but you're a fail! A review of a few can show I'm a creator of an epic tale. Atleast I'm actually something, you're author match has been met! You were thought great, because I hadn't come along yet. Homer: Trials for miles, the fellowship was not even challenging! You got as much balls at writing fantasy as J.K Rowling. I wish the king wouldn't have returned, and if people paused. They'd see without the undead, they would've utterly lost. Tolkien: What are you Tolkien about? why you pretend try to flow. I'll be nipping at my smokes with the dwarves in my comfy Hobbit hole. 2 copies of your books? what's that even worth? Millions upon millions sold here, Hail the King of Middle Earth! Homer: Filler and unneeded appendicies, you sure got a lot of it. Ruin you in this battle worse than Peter Jackson with the Hobbit. I do not plan for a diss in this intellectual battle to be belated. The only fans you got are Psychophants in their mother's basement. Tolkien: If you wan't a battle, best believe you are allowed to have it. Meet my beared good friend, sir, and learn the powers of magic. Gandalf: Put your Isengard up, don't be loafing around at Lothlorien. I took on a dragon from Hell itself and you should know, I won it! Do you see my beard and hat? any argument is invalid. I'm Shadow-fast on Shadowfax to the max galloping. You're writing little stories about the whoes me. Leave Fantasy to Tolkien and stick to your poetry. Homer: One does not simply fight against the great Homer. He's a flower, you're a Rohan free-roamer. Just a wizard on a horse thinking that he can rap fast. But Gimli's stronger and smarter than you, you come in last. Tolkien: It's been said, you should write from a true day to day basis. You're doing nothing, while I'm creating full-blown languages! You'll be stuck below, why can't you just face it? Now I must go now, I'm needed in better places. Homer: Leave then, nobody wanted your stories here anyway! Anyone agree? this man's writing style and language was cray cray. He wasn't the best, and that's been truly shown. Because without his Son, he wouldn't have ever been known.